Author Topic: From the Inbox  (Read 31883 times)

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noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #30 on: September 21, 2012, 03:07:37 AM »
When Grandma goes to court

     Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they are not prepared for the answer.

     In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
     She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a little boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot but you do not have the brains to realize that you will never amount to anything more than a paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

     The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know thw defense attorney?"

     She again repied, "Why, yes, I do. I have known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He is lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He cannot build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention her cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

     The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots askes her if she knows me, I will send you both to the electric chair!"

8) ;) 8)
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #31 on: September 28, 2012, 09:41:38 PM »
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #32 on: October 01, 2012, 08:51:18 PM »
Pastor's children

     A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.  After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.
     After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
     A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
     After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke,  "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He  gives us."
     Silence fell over the congregation.
     In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God,  but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
     The entire congregation said, "Amen."
     Gotta love those senior citizens!

"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

Ray Rentell

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2012, 03:29:29 AM »
The joke is hilarious and the photo's made me feel slightly sick.... heights. :o
for album click the pic

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2012, 08:10:42 PM »
Always ask - Never Assume

     His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
 
     He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

     'Why?' asked the pilot.

     "Because I'm a photographer for CNN", he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots."

     The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?"

"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2012, 05:21:14 PM »
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

Ceej

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #36 on: October 09, 2012, 06:43:02 PM »
I like the pix you posted, but when I clicked on the link. I got a warning that the site is a high risk site.

"Leaving it to the imagination" is highly overrated.




Sandy is a B6 F1 Realdoll. In addition she has several F1 expression faces as well as standard F10 and f11 faces. She also has several sets of reuseable "Real Breast" prosthetic breasts.

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #37 on: October 09, 2012, 11:36:14 PM »
Ceej,

     I have Norton AntiVirus, but it did not say anything. My browser security settings might be lower than yours. I use Internet Explorer 8. I tried IE 9, but did not like it.

:-X :-X :-X
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2012, 08:23:43 PM »
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

Ray Rentell

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #39 on: October 11, 2012, 05:32:20 AM »
The wonder of hydraulics although its not all mechanised, it still needs a human to place the little blue things .
An amazing machine , the way it could bend the rails as well, some power there.

Neat find . :)
for album click the pic

Bluemouse

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #40 on: October 11, 2012, 05:41:51 AM »
Great pictures Noq  :)
Tenshi Katana is a Sinthetics Kimiko 1B
Galleries: http://ourdollcommunity.com/gallery/index.php?cat=12574

Spelling mistakes (or errors in translation) are the author intended. They serve only to check the attention and for the general entertainment. Anyone who finds a... may keep him.

Ceej

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #41 on: October 11, 2012, 07:58:49 AM »
That's a pretty cool find Noq :)

Years ago I did see an outft with some of those machines replacing old ties with new ones, the tramping machine near the end looked familliar.
"Leaving it to the imagination" is highly overrated.




Sandy is a B6 F1 Realdoll. In addition she has several F1 expression faces as well as standard F10 and f11 faces. She also has several sets of reuseable "Real Breast" prosthetic breasts.

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #42 on: October 13, 2012, 06:48:52 PM »
     One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful. We were sitting at the breakfast table when I said, "When I die I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."
     "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
     "I figure that a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry, and I do not want some other asshole using my stuff."
     She looked at me intently and said, "What makes you think I would marry another asshole?"

;D ;D ;D
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4

noquiexis

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Re: From the Inbox
« Reply #43 on: October 14, 2012, 11:11:50 PM »
"Like a bolt out of the blue
 Fate steps in and sees you through
 When you wish upon a star
 Your dreams come true"

   Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket (1940)

Trixie and Dixie are Private Secretary inflatable dolls.
Esperanza is a Tera Patrick inflatable doll.
see my gallery for their pictures

Feodora is an Anatomical Doll, Face 3 Body 3 Set 2 Set 3 Set 4