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Main Street => The Tipsy Barstool Inn => Topic started by: noquiexis on November 19, 2011, 06:37:43 PM

Title: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 19, 2011, 06:37:43 PM
     These are jokes, stories, and observation that have come from my inbox. I hope you like them!

Smart Ass Answers
SMART ASS ANSWER #6

     It was mealtime during an airline flight..
     'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front..
     'What are my choices?' John asked.
     'Yes or no,' she replied.


SMART ASS ANSWER #5

     A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'


SMART ASS ANSWER #4

     A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'


SMART ASS ANSWER #3

     The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


SMART ASS ANSWER #2

     A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

     Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'


SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 
 
     A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

     A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

     The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

(http://magickalgraphics.com/Graphics/Miscellaneous/Dividers/div91.gif)

Women over 50!
attributed to Andy Rooney

     In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 50.
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

     â€œAs I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

     A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

     If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something she wants to do, & it's usually more interesting.

     Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

     Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

     Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.

     Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

     Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

     Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

     For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

     Andy Rooney was a really smart guy!

(http://magickalgraphics.com/Graphics/Miscellaneous/Dividers/div91.gif)

Quotes from: The Relic]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120004/]The Relic (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120004/)

Medical examiner to detective during autopsy of decapitated body:
Dr. Zwiezic: Seven decapitations in one week. Don't you just hate killers, who take head and never give it?
Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: You're bad, Matilda.


Margo Green: Using superstition to bring people to the museum is like hiring topless ushers for the Bolshoi Ballet.
Dr. Whitney Frock: Well if they did, I might go to the Ballet.

(http://magickalgraphics.com/Graphics/Miscellaneous/Dividers/div91.gif)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: happiness on November 20, 2011, 07:31:15 PM
 ;D I'll be retelling some of these Noq! Very funny! And I remember those line from The Relic.  ^-^
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: roustabout on November 24, 2011, 06:16:05 AM
very funny stuff Noq. You had us rolling.  :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 12, 2011, 12:31:59 AM
     I hope this plays in England so that Everhard can see it!

TGI Fridays Bar in Manchester, England
http://file.qip.ru/embed/111226964/dfc05946 (http://file.qip.ru/embed/111226964/dfc05946)

8) ;) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: wossisname on December 12, 2011, 07:16:18 AM
Yep, it plays fine in England
Good stuff, but I don't think I'll be going to Manchester to see the live show.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: happiness on December 12, 2011, 02:49:11 PM
 :o Now there's a place to go and have a drink!!!  :D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on February 06, 2012, 10:33:51 AM
Brain Study....

     Wow! It took me a few seconds, but then I got the hang of it. I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind. If English is not your primary language, it may be harder to read.

F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng?

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.

 8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on February 08, 2012, 08:20:28 AM
Holy Crap!!! I've seen this before as you say with just the letteres scrambled, with the exception of the first and last of each word. the explanation for that was so long as the outside letters of each word were intact you can still read it because you have learned to recongnize words by their overal size. but this example blows that theory out of the water.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Eva Kumiko on February 08, 2012, 01:19:51 PM
Be proud! Only certain people can read this.
So you think you have performed something very difficult.
You haven't. No scrambling. Only exchanging, and in an easy way.
0 = O
1 = I
3 = E
4 = A
5 = S
7 = T
The rest isn't exchanged at all.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: belshanar on February 08, 2012, 07:08:18 PM
..... when everyone can read 1337, no one is 1337. ::sigh:: It used to mean something.

And that usually meant that you desperately need to get laid.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on February 09, 2012, 05:03:40 AM
At first glance I thought it would be tough, but 2 lines in and I was breezing through. It really is amazing how the human mind works. Cool post.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 30, 2012, 09:30:26 AM
Catholic Coffee Morning in Rome

      Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square . The first Catholic man tells his friends,
     "My son is a  priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."  The second Catholic man chirps,
     "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."  The third Catholic gent says,
     "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room, everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."  The fourth Catholic man says very proudly,
     "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle,
     "Well....?" She proudly replies,
     "I have a daughter. She is slim and tall, with 40 DD breasts, a 24 inch waist, and 34 inch hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God!"

(http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif)

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on April 30, 2012, 08:14:49 PM
     You just never know what might happen next time you go out for a quiet cup of coffee!

http://www.youtube.com/v/316AzLYfAzw%26autoplay%3d1%26rel%3d0

 8) ;D 8)

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on May 07, 2012, 10:22:41 AM
     I would hate to work this hard to have a glass of wine.

A Glass of Red (video)
Annabel Carberry
http://biggeekdad.com/2012/02/a-glass-of-red/ (http://biggeekdad.com/2012/02/a-glass-of-red/)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: happiness on May 08, 2012, 02:49:52 PM
Thank you, Noq! I loved both of those videos! The coffee shop drama is hilarious! And Annabel with her hoops is very endearing!
You added a smile to my day. Thank you so much for sharing those!  :-*  ^-^
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on May 21, 2012, 12:24:18 AM
     Michael Paul Smith builds models of old automobiles. He creates entire sets for the autos, and then photographs the layouts (on a folding table) against real backgrounds. These pictures remind me of a few Twilight Zone (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052520/) episodes!

     Warning to dial-up networking users! There are 192 pictures here!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/24796741@N05/sets/72157604247242338/show/with/2346008881/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/24796741@N05/sets/72157604247242338/show/with/2346008881/)

:) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Camp on May 30, 2012, 10:11:39 PM
An old favorite of mine...

Quote
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a University of Alabama Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Auburn University in Alabama.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:

"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu."

The audience went wild! How they wondered could the redneck top that?

The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:

"Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three girls in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."


Next up... "Aboard the good ship Venus..."
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 29, 2012, 08:53:09 PM
     The ever fun-loving and adventurous Feodora wants me to take her for a ride.

http://www.wimp.com/russiaride/ (http://www.wimp.com/russiaride/)


 :o :o :o
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 10, 2012, 11:43:08 AM
Pictures from Around the World

     I received an e-mail containing some interesting pictures. Luckily there were captions on the pictures, and I was able to trace the pictures back to their source. Take a peek and see what yopu think:

"Very interesting Pictures from around the world" (http://blog.tsemtulku.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/art-architecture/wanna-travel-the-world-with-me.html)

Morning Glory Clouds, Gulf of Carpentaria, Australia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MorningGloryCloudBurketownFromPlane.jpg)

Emerald Lake, Tongariro National Park, New Zealand (http://fiveminutegetaway.icanhascheezburger.com/2012/02/18/vacation-travel-photos-emerald-lake-tongariro-national-park-new-zealand/)

I found these while looking for the rest:
Crater Lake, Oregon
 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Crater_lake_oregon.jpg)

Kerið crater lake, Iceland (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Iceland2009-BradWeber-Kerid.jpg)

From the NASA JPL files:

The Sands of Mars (http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/1/n/411/1N164670849EFF51MGP0703L0M1.HTML)

     Here is one of my favorite Salivdore Dali (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvador_Dal%C3%AD) pictures:

The Persistence of Memory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg)

:) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on July 10, 2012, 04:16:46 PM
Some amazing photos there! I have never heard of most of them.

One I have heard of is the morning glory in Australia. Here is a video of a hang glider soaring along it (after being towed up to it behind a powered ultralight):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzurOLMD1BM
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 16, 2012, 08:35:01 PM
Monkeying Around with Flowers


http://www.flickr.com/photos/gvtbolivia/2707812344/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/gvtbolivia/2707812344/)
Monkey face orchid

http://www.flickr.com/photos/quimbaya/697685865/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/quimbaya/697685865/)
Dracula simia Luer (1978)

(http://i.imgur.com/yviRd.jpg)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nolehace_photography/1868128101/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/nolehace_photography/1868128101/)
Dracula simia, an orchid species

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericinsf/2876068448/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericinsf/2876068448/)
Dracula simia

http://www.flickr.com/photos/josex/3276691805/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/josex/3276691805/)
monkey orchid . orquídea mono


 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 27, 2012, 08:49:56 PM
Jetman
http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http://www.youtube.com/v/WgdIE2t8QkM%3F (http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http://www.youtube.com/v/WgdIE2t8QkM%3F)



Telephone Repair Mystery
Lawrence, Kansas

     A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone  failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone  rang.

     The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wetground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

(http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/rolleyes.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/rolleyes.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/rolleyes.gif)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: KingTut on July 28, 2012, 03:50:05 AM
The punchline on the dog story had me laughing out loud.  Nice find, Noqui!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on July 28, 2012, 05:52:09 AM
Wonderful.

What more can you say of "very interesting pictures from around the world"

After following links ,maps and googling photos I spent over two hours pondering on the beauty that is all around us for those who care to see it.

Thank you noquiexis :)

Whilst using the satelite view on google I found this, sadly I did not take down the location.
What an amazing piece of nature.

And the poor dog !    :laugh:

(http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/6141/jjjrm.jpg) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/687/jjjrm.jpg/)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on July 29, 2012, 09:42:02 PM
Don't know if this has turned into a freak of nature thread but, awhile back I was having some grapes when I came across a Conjoined grape.

Naturally I thought of Dottie  :P


(http://incredidoll.com/gallery3/var/albums/Beachy/Dottie%20grape%20%2816b%29.jpg?m=1343612133)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Camp on July 29, 2012, 10:57:27 PM
There was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town square. The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the square. One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a local who is squatted down next to his camel. "What time is it, sir?"

The local reaches out and softly cups the camel's genitals in his hand, and raises them up and down. "It's about 2:00", he says. The tourist can't believe what he just saw.

He runs back to the bus, and sure enough, it is 2:00. He tells a few of the fellow tourists his story, "The man can tell the time by the weight of the camel's genitals!! One of the doubting tourists walks back to the local and asks him the time, the same thing happens!! It is 2:05.p.m.

He runs back to tell the story. Finally, the bus driver wants to know how it is done. He walks over and asks the local how he knows the time from the camel's genitals. The local says "Sit down here and grab the camel's genitals". "Now, lift them up in the air. Now, look underneath them to the other side of the courtyard, where that clock is hanging on the wall."
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 03, 2012, 09:51:16 AM
More Pictures from Around the World

Note: n x n means pixels wide by pixels tall. Images below are constrained to 500 pixels wide.

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/two-rivers-colliding-geneva-switzerland-rhone-and-arve-rivers.jpg)
Confluence of Rhone and Arve Rivers 500 X 699
http://unusualplaces.org/confluence-of-rhone-and-arve-rivers-geneva/ (http://unusualplaces.org/confluence-of-rhone-and-arve-rivers-geneva/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/14.jpg)
Wang Saen Suk Hell Garden 1007 X 669
http://unusualplaces.org/wang-saen-suk-hell-garden/ (http://unusualplaces.org/wang-saen-suk-hell-garden/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/1.jpg)
Crescent Moon Lake, China 800 X 450
http://unusualplaces.org/crescent-moon-lake-china/ (http://unusualplaces.org/crescent-moon-lake-china/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/MoonBridge1.jpg)
Moon Bridge in Taiwan 721 X 480
http://unusualplaces.org/moon-bridge-in-the-heart-of-taiwan/ (http://unusualplaces.org/moon-bridge-in-the-heart-of-taiwan/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/isleofskye9.jpg)
Isle of Skye 640 X 480
http://unusualplaces.org/isle-of-skye/ (http://unusualplaces.org/isle-of-skye/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/isle_of_skye9.jpg)
Isle of Skye 640 X X451
http://unusualplaces.org/isle-of-skye/ (http://unusualplaces.org/isle-of-skye/)

(http://unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/drina12.jpg)
Drina River, Tara National Park 750 X 499
http://unusualplaces.org/drina-river-tara-national-park/ (http://unusualplaces.org/drina-river-tara-national-park/)

(http://twistedsifter.sifter.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/iguazu-falls-waterfall-island.jpg)
Waterfall Island at Iguazu Falls 502 X 669
http://twistedsifter.com/2012/03/picture-of-the-day-the-waterfall-island-at-iguazu-falls/ (http://twistedsifter.com/2012/03/picture-of-the-day-the-waterfall-island-at-iguazu-falls/)

(http://twistedsifter.sifter.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/maelstrom-kauai-hawaii-2.jpg)
Maelstrom at Kauai, Hawaii  800 x 532
http://twistedsifter.com/2012/01/picture-of-the-day-maelstrom-at-kauai-hawaii/ (http://twistedsifter.com/2012/01/picture-of-the-day-maelstrom-at-kauai-hawaii/)

 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 12, 2012, 04:43:20 PM
     Now I have heard everything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDD7xjEnvp8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDD7xjEnvp8)

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 22, 2012, 01:35:29 PM
     This picture is from a fractal art website. They use image theft protection on that website, so you will have to go there to see the picture.

"Nice Legs" (http://www.fractalartcontests.com/2011/showentry.php?entryid=673) by Dimitrios Xenos

 ;) ;) ;)

I got this from another serior citizen:

     To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors instead of illegal's in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

     Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... Oh, crap ....I'll see you on the bus!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Abbott and Costello (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0044229/) explain the US Government's Accounting System.

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: You just said 9%.
ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?
ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of  work.
COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.
ABBOTT:  No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls, that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT:   Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment, do ya?
COSTELLO: That would be frightening..
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO:  Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT:  Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.
COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a politician.

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 03, 2012, 03:26:25 PM
How Women Burn Calories in France
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=yEH4Yum4nN4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=yEH4Yum4nN4)

 :P :P :P

     Paraprosdokians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

     "You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else." - Winston Churchill

1. Where there is a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it 's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we wouldd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with "Good Evening", then proceed to tell you why it is not.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. It turns out that I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify:" I put 'DOCTOR'.

13. I did not say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money cannot buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There is a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can not get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I am not so sure.

21. You are never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there is a will, there are relatives.

And mine is.........

I am supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 21, 2012, 03:07:37 AM
When Grandma goes to court

     Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they are not prepared for the answer.

     In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
     She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a little boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot but you do not have the brains to realize that you will never amount to anything more than a paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

     The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know thw defense attorney?"

     She again repied, "Why, yes, I do. I have known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He is lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He cannot build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention her cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

     The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots askes her if she knows me, I will send you both to the electric chair!"

8) ;) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 28, 2012, 09:41:38 PM
Credit Card RFID
http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/lLAFhTjsQHw%26sns=em (http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/lLAFhTjsQHw%26sns=em)

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 01, 2012, 08:51:18 PM
Pastor's children

     A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.  After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.
     After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
     A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
     After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke,  "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He  gives us."
     Silence fell over the congregation.
     In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God,  but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
     The entire congregation said, "Amen."
     Gotta love those senior citizens!

:P :P :P

(http://cl.jroo.me/z3/0/V/N/d/a.aaa-Unusual-lunch.jpg)
http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/extreme/unusual-lunch.html (http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/extreme/unusual-lunch.html)

(http://cl.jroo.me/z3/z/c/S/d/a.aaa-Sitting-on-the-edge-of-rock.jpg)
http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/extreme/sitting-on-the-edge-of-rock.html (http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/extreme/sitting-on-the-edge-of-rock.html)

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on October 02, 2012, 03:29:29 AM
The joke is hilarious and the photo's made me feel slightly sick.... heights. :o
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 05, 2012, 08:10:42 PM
Always ask - Never Assume

     His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
 
     He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

     'Why?' asked the pilot.

     "Because I'm a photographer for CNN", he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots."

     The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?"

:o :o :o

I found this while shopping for some boots:

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/711MocJf-hL._SL1000_.jpg)
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_so_40?rh=n%3A1036592%2Ck%3ALadies+Western+Jeans%2Cp_4%3AArtsmith+Inc&bbn=1036592&keywords=Ladies+Western+Jeans&ie=UTF8&qid=1349460531 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_so_40?rh=n%3A1036592%2Ck%3ALadies+Western+Jeans%2Cp_4%3AArtsmith+Inc&bbn=1036592&keywords=Ladies+Western+Jeans&ie=UTF8&qid=1349460531)

 :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 09, 2012, 05:21:14 PM
(http://oursurprisingworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/beautiful_forest_statues_004.jpg)

(http://oursurprisingworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/beautiful_forest_statues_010.jpg)
images from
http://oursurprisingworld.com/beautiful-forest-statues/ (http://oursurprisingworld.com/beautiful-forest-statues/)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on October 09, 2012, 06:43:02 PM
I like the pix you posted, but when I clicked on the link. I got a warning that the site is a high risk site.

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 09, 2012, 11:36:14 PM
Ceej,

     I have Norton AntiVirus, but it did not say anything. My browser security settings might be lower than yours. I use Internet Explorer 8. I tried IE 9, but did not like it.

:-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 10, 2012, 08:23:43 PM
Ever see a train lay its own tracks?
http://www.wimp.com/traintrack/ (http://www.wimp.com/traintrack/)
http://www.youtube.com/user/raimcameddy#p/u/3/qFE8nmKpmXY (http://www.youtube.com/user/raimcameddy#p/u/3/qFE8nmKpmXY)

 :police: :police: :police:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on October 11, 2012, 05:32:20 AM
The wonder of hydraulics although its not all mechanised, it still needs a human to place the little blue things .
An amazing machine , the way it could bend the rails as well, some power there.

Neat find . :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Bluemouse on October 11, 2012, 05:41:51 AM
Great pictures Noq  :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on October 11, 2012, 07:58:49 AM
That's a pretty cool find Noq :)

Years ago I did see an outft with some of those machines replacing old ties with new ones, the tramping machine near the end looked familliar.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 13, 2012, 06:48:52 PM
     One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful. We were sitting at the breakfast table when I said, "When I die I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."
     "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
     "I figure that a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry, and I do not want some other asshole using my stuff."
     She looked at me intently and said, "What makes you think I would marry another asshole?"

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 14, 2012, 11:11:50 PM
This one is for Incred!
(http://i.imgur.com/fDpdo.jpg)
http://imgur.com/gallery (http://imgur.com/gallery)



Holy cats!
(http://www.jeffdeboer.com/Portals/0/Seamless.Album/433/_photos/13samfront.jpg)

... and rats, too!!
(http://www.jeffdeboer.com/Portals/0/Seamless.Album/433/_photos/06bronzrat.jpg)
http://www.jeffdeboer.com/Galleries/CatsandMice/tabid/77/Default.aspx (http://www.jeffdeboer.com/Galleries/CatsandMice/tabid/77/Default.aspx)

 8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on October 15, 2012, 05:27:01 PM
You can keep the cats and rats. I'll take red  8)

Good catch Noq
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 15, 2012, 08:12:13 PM
Incred,

     I kind of figured that you might like her! (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif)

     Here are a couple more that just came in:

Tarantula tattoo
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/75705_468446363199911_111077123_n.jpg)

     Watch as magician David Copperfield switches the underwear of two women selected at random from the audience. Amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dd2hnVRCn8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dd2hnVRCn8)


 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 29, 2012, 08:23:50 PM
What an amazing world we live in!
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/93/Racetrack-Playa-Death-Valley-2.jpg)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sailing_stones

 :-X :-X :-X

     During a recent password audit by  a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyDeweyLouieDonaldGoofySacramento"

     When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least eight characters and include at least one capital."

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 30, 2012, 09:01:09 AM
Dirt Devil "Exorcist" commercial (http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=22984504&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00adef&fullscreen=1&autoplay=1&loop=0)

 O0 O0 O0

(http://www.shinbow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/0b2b8e4da5b4_A30C/Happy-Hour-In-Bangkok_small_thumb.jpg)
http://www.shinbow.com/2012/08/07/happy-hour-in-bangkok/ (http://www.shinbow.com/2012/08/07/happy-hour-in-bangkok/)



(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/385008_268447109943398_129250885_n.jpg)



(http://sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/400202_418470331540109_1865906345_n.jpg)



Understanding Internet Error Codes
(http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/UnderstandingInternetErrorCodesWithSomeFelineAssistance-41665.jpg)

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 08, 2012, 06:28:10 PM
     Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:

Two Prostitutes - $50.00

     A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them, and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. At that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "Jesus Saves."
     One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?"
     "Well, that's a little different," the officer said. "Their sign pertains to religion."
     The following day the same police officer noticed the same two hookers driving around with a large sign on their car. He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:

Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50

(http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on December 09, 2012, 03:31:22 AM
:laugh: ;D :laugh:

hilarious and probably very near the truth
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 21, 2012, 08:19:24 PM
Question: Is sex Work?

     A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
     A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
     A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
     A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
     There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
     Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
     The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked "Why is that?"
     "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them." The room fell silent.

(http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif) (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on January 02, 2013, 01:39:39 PM
Bonne Année!

"Duo Artemiev"
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=5hIc2ODfRxQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=5hIc2ODfRxQ)

See also:
http://www.patricksebastien.fr/2012/12/16/matt-pokora-et-tal-chantent-envole-moi-en-live-les-annees-bonheur/ (http://www.patricksebastien.fr/2012/12/16/matt-pokora-et-tal-chantent-envole-moi-en-live-les-annees-bonheur/)

     Why does this remind me of Davecat's Sidore?

http://www.patricksebastien.fr/2012/12/16/shym-chante-la-boite-de-jazz-en-exclu-dans-les-annees-bonheur/ (http://www.patricksebastien.fr/2012/12/16/shym-chante-la-boite-de-jazz-en-exclu-dans-les-annees-bonheur/)

More from  Patrick Sébastien http://www.patricksebastien.fr/ (http://www.patricksebastien.fr/)

 :) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on January 07, 2013, 08:14:45 PM
"People who live in glass houses..."

A Day Made of Glass

Corning 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=6Cf7IL_eZ38&vq=medium)

Corning 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_424843&feature=iv&src_vid=6Cf7IL_eZ38&v=jZkHpNnXLB0)

Corning 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_152905&feature=iv&src_vid=jZkHpNnXLB0&v=X-GXO_urMow)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on January 28, 2013, 11:14:53 PM
German Truck Art
[/size]

     This is listed as an e-mail hoax, but the pictures are too cool to pass up!

from: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/german-truck-art.shtml

2005 Rhino Rolling Advertising Award winners

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art1.jpg)

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art2.jpg)
See also: http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight023.jpg (http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight023.jpg)


(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art3.jpg)
See also: http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight026.jpg (http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight026.jpg)

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art4.jpg)
See also: http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight024.jpg (http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight024.jpg)
"On the wrong way?"

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art5.jpg)
See also: http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight020.jpg (http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight020.jpg)

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art6.jpg)

(http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/german-truck-art7.jpg)
See also: http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight004.jpg (http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight004.jpg)

(http://www.rhino-award.com/images/rhino05gross/rhinonight006.jpg)

 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Bluemouse on January 30, 2013, 05:37:25 PM
Wow! Great Advertising art, Noq  :)

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on January 31, 2013, 04:07:28 AM
a clever bit of art work, favourite has to be the beer bottle illusion, that could give you a shock passing the lorry... :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: roustabout on January 31, 2013, 07:25:26 PM
Sounds like he should have gotten a REAL Ruby http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/03/16/italy.berlusconi.case/index.html
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on January 31, 2013, 10:24:57 PM
European Plastic Bags

     Here are some fun ways to go shopping. For more, see the website.

from: http://fun.superlogical.net/fun2/2011/08/european-plastic-bags/ (http://fun.superlogical.net/fun2/2011/08/european-plastic-bags/)

(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n180/SRD001/Art/plastic_bag/1.jpg)

(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n180/SRD001/Art/plastic_bag/8.jpg)

(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n180/SRD001/Art/plastic_bag/15.jpg)

(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n180/SRD001/Art/plastic_bag/16.jpg)

 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on February 01, 2013, 08:49:39 AM
Neat!  :D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Bluemouse on February 01, 2013, 09:21:42 AM
 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 15, 2013, 05:16:31 PM
What "Bug"s you the most?

(http://www.ericneely.com/images/photos/20040708-6.jpg)

(http://media.techeblog.com/images/beetles_7.jpg)

See also:

http://www.antalik.com/weird-pictures-of-volkswagen-beetle/ (http://www.antalik.com/weird-pictures-of-volkswagen-beetle/)

http://www.dastank.com/Funny-VW-Pictures.htm (http://www.dastank.com/Funny-VW-Pictures.htm)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Bluemouse on March 15, 2013, 06:52:17 PM
Great Beetles Noq  :)

...but the Duck bite the Bug!

(http://rofrisch.de/movieworld99/069s.jpg)


And what's that?! Copulation?  :laugh:

(http://www.dastank.com/yin-volkswagen_yang.jpg)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 28, 2013, 08:28:41 PM
     This was not in my inbox, but I did not want to start another topic just now. I picked up Disney's animated feature Brave (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/) after seeing a part of it while out shopping. It is a cute story about a medieval Scottish princess (a firey redhead) who wants to get out of a forced marriage.

     From the Crazy Cerdits page:
"The final credit is headed Production Babies and is followed by a list of 68 given names (including a set of twins) of children born to members of the production team during filming."  Damn! What were they doing all that time? (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/devil.gif)

     Kelly Macdonald (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0531808/) is the voice of  Merida, the princess. picture (http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjE0ODMzMjMyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTYzNTA0NA@@._V1._SX214_CR0,0,214,314_.jpg)

     Julie Walters (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910278/) (voice of The Witch) mentions the Wickerman Festival (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wickerman_Festival) and Stornoway, Scotland (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stornoway)

     The movie reminded me of Incred, who is very interested in Scottish culture, language, and music. Merida's fire-red hair helped a bit, too!  ;)

Touch the Sky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5qH1EawuC4)
Performed by Julie Fowlis

 8) ;) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on March 28, 2013, 09:27:56 PM
Oh Yeaaaahh...

(http://www.bestoforlando.com/articles/disney-introduces-princess-merida-from-pixars-brave/images/BOO_L_Merida-Pixar%20BRAVE-at-Epcot-for-Meet-and-greet-Magic-Kingdom.jpg)

(http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32800000/Brave-brave-32865519-500-583.jpg)

(http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31200000/Merida-s-new-collection-Disney-Store-doll-brave-31228323-800-800.jpg)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 29, 2013, 05:52:05 PM
     Incred's picture links: (good eye, Incred!)

movie poster (http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/32800000/Brave-brave-32865519-500-583.jpg)

Boxed doll with weapons (http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31200000/Merida-s-new-collection-Disney-Store-doll-brave-31228323-800-800.jpg)

     One of the problems that I run into is that some websites (like http://www.imdb.com/ (http://www.imdb.com/)) have code that prevents hot-linking to forums and social media websites. The pictures show up when we format the posts, but show the dreaded red X when we look at the posted message. take my word for it and follow the links!

8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on April 12, 2013, 03:47:07 PM
     Here are a couple more images that I thought might be of interest:

Something Unexpected
(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/e/secluded-rendezvous-1.jpg)
from http://www.daz3d.com/secluded-rendezvous (http://www.daz3d.com/secluded-rendezvous)

Lava skull (http://www.fullpunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/20-Truly-Weird-But-Awesome-Pictures-7.jpg) (<-- URL, no hotlinking)
Copy this link and paste it into another browser window or tab.

:) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on April 12, 2013, 07:42:43 PM
She's REALLY pretty !!!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on April 13, 2013, 12:06:23 AM
MMMMM.... Frog legs  :drool:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on April 18, 2013, 08:54:02 PM
Share a Coke (a Rube Goldberg machine)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEBJmZL8G1E (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEBJmZL8G1E)

Rube Goldberg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg) Wikipedia
Rube Goldberg machine (http://www.rubegoldberg.com/) website
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg_machine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg_machine)

http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/rube-goldberg-machines/ (http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/rube-goldberg-machines/)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: belshanar on April 21, 2013, 06:07:26 PM
Today started out as a crap day. I was down in the dumps, and just unhappy in general for no good reason.

Then, I watched a few episodes of Archer and Game of Thrones, and read this:

http://mommyhasapottymouth.com/18-of-the-best-autocorrect-struggles-2-8653/ (http://mommyhasapottymouth.com/18-of-the-best-autocorrect-struggles-2-8653/)

It made me laugh. A lot. For so long that not only my dolls, but my two cats wondered what was wrong with me.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on May 25, 2013, 11:43:34 AM
     This has been around for a while, but I just found out about it through an e-mail.

     Just for Laughs Gags (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_For_Laughs_Gags) is The French - Canadian version of Candid Camera (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candid_Camera)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_for_Laughs:_Gags (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_for_Laughs:_Gags)

Just for Laughs Gags - Season 9 (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?annotation_id=annotation_295813&feature=iv&list=PL9F273313035E4C78&src_vid=ZuW8LCj69iU)

Warning! These clips can be addictive!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: frekka2021 on May 26, 2013, 05:56:50 AM


Only an Aussie could pull this one off! A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland,
but really, it could happen anywhere in the world...

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening.
The officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles..
The man managed to find his car, which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night).
Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary
for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.
The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car,
put on the flashing lights, pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.
The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station -
this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"...

 :D  ;D  8)  :laugh:  ???
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 26, 2013, 09:11:19 PM
M.C. Escher's staircase (http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/escherian-stairwell.htm)

Myth busted! (http://www.snopes.com/photos/technology/escherian.asp)

But it is fun to watch!

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 09, 2013, 08:25:09 PM
     This one has been around a while, but it can still give you a chuckle.

The Ostrich

     A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
     The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
     "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
     A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please."
     The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
     The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
     The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
     Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again.
     "The usual?" asks the waitress.
     "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
     "Same," says the ostrich.
     Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
     Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
     "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
     "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
     "That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
     The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
     The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 23, 2013, 01:03:18 PM
Have you tried a Camel?

Three out of five men who have tried Camels ...

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/95/Rokend_Camel-reclamebord_Smoking_billboard.jpg/220px-Rokend_Camel-reclamebord_Smoking_billboard.jpg)
(not this kind of camel)

(http://file.vintageadbrowser.com/hzxn5ibtxcfhrj.jpg)
( not Joe Camel either)











... prefer women!

Camel toe pictures
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/37/Miss_Desiree_cameltoe.jpg/225px-Miss_Desiree_cameltoe.jpg)

(http://acidcow.com/pics/20100319/celebrity_camel_toes_16.jpg)

(http://www.panama-guide.com/images/articles/20130501213557855_7.jpg)

You have to wonder about the other two out of the five.  :whistle:

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on July 23, 2013, 08:43:14 PM
Sweet!!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 26, 2013, 12:35:07 AM
Iceland Fashion Shoot

     I have been following Karl Taylor's photography tips and videos for a while. He did a fashion shoot in Iceland. As he put it, "Sometimes things don't go to plan!" Watch the video and see if you agree.

Iceland Fashion Shoot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VSQyKZYEDY&feature=share&list=UUZajtzLoD3nxn2G9ripCjPg)

     When the professionals have trouble, it makes us amateurs feel better about our own work! I hope the model got some big bucks for her part in this!

;D ;) ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 31, 2013, 04:16:26 PM
Another collection of odds and ends

50 Beautiful Women Morphing (http://www.flixxy.com/50-of-the-most-beautiful-women-ever-morphing.htm)

China's got Talent: Bicycle Acrobatics (http://www.flixxy.com/chinese-bicycle-acrobatics.htm)

Adams-Farwell 5 cylinder engine (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0XbqHUAI-0)

Uses for  WD-40 (http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/wd-40.asp)

 ;D :P ;D

Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on July 31, 2013, 04:38:56 PM
Very neat links :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on July 31, 2013, 10:40:56 PM
you need to sign in for this one cause there's boobies in it!!! but its worth it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwT6DZCQi9k
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on August 01, 2013, 08:57:19 AM
Man, those Chinese girls on their bikes! Un-effing-believable!
 :o

 Where can I apply for that safety guy's job when he retires?
 :D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 05, 2013, 09:55:01 PM
Inflatable doll idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HywS4k88TQM&feature=em-subs_digest (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HywS4k88TQM&feature=em-subs_digest)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on August 05, 2013, 11:07:20 PM
Snuggles wrecked that chick  :whistle:

(http://incredidoll.com/gallery3/var/albums/Comic-Con-2013/Comic-Con%20%2843b%29.jpg?m=1375493036)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 13, 2013, 09:10:27 PM
Mind over Mechanics
http://www.youtube.com/embed/6LWz4qa2XQA?feature (http://www.youtube.com/embed/6LWz4qa2XQA?feature)

Falcon in a tree
(http://www.2coolfishing.com/ttmbforum/attachment.php?s=d479016e29486e062387ed18b6f26a5b&attachmentid=653682&stc=1&d=1376345263)

 8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on August 13, 2013, 09:28:04 PM
Hmmm. Right hand drive. Either photoshop, or Australia, or both.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on August 18, 2013, 08:40:29 PM
WOW!!! very sweet!!!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on August 18, 2013, 08:46:06 PM
Japan also has a fetish for weather girls, or Female announcers. A few do AV or girls "act" as announcers.

Here is weather girl Arisa Sato who did a photo book;

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA645_1.jpg)

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA645_2.jpg)


On the subject of weather there is a book on Office Ladies, and School Girls getting soaked in Tokyo streets.

No Smoking  ;)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA177_8.jpg)

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA177_7.jpg)

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA177_3.jpg)

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images3.jlist.com/g9/APA177_2.jpg) :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 29, 2013, 01:27:56 PM
You are here:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Milky_Way_Arms_ssc2008-10.svg/512px-Milky_Way_Arms_ssc2008-10.svg.png)

From here you can find your own way home:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b6/Earth%27s_Location_in_the_Universe_%28JPEG%29.jpg/2000px-Earth%27s_Location_in_the_Universe_%28JPEG%29.jpg)



Got time for a bite?

from: Turn Your Hoodie Into A Popcorn Holder (http://www.ohgizmo.com/2013/02/13/lifehack-turn-your-hoodie-into-a-popcorn-holder/)

(http://www.ohgizmo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Pop-corn-hoodie.jpg)



Just another day out shopping.

(http://www.geekologie.com/2012/07/11/shark-attack-bench-1.jpg)

(http://www.geekologie.com/2012/07/11/shark-attack-bench-2.jpg)

 :-\ :-\ :-\
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 27, 2013, 08:53:47 PM
Embarrassing Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . ."My wife's going to have her baby in the cab."
     I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , San Francisco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2.  At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
     "Big breaths,", I instructed.
     "Yes, they used to be,", replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes , Seattle , WA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
     Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with One of his medications.
     "Which one?'. .. . I asked.
     "The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'
     I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
     Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk , VA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
     After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"
     "It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste. Bob replied.
      I then asked to see the jelly and Bob producedA foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf , Detroit ,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
     When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'
     Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8.  As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
     The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
     I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
     She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard. "No doctor but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."

Dr. wouldn't submit his name....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 MORE

Baby's First Doctor Visit

     A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
     The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
     "Breast-fed," she replied..
     "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
     She did He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
     Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
     "I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came!"

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 19, 2013, 05:21:06 PM
Beer from your iPad

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=6a8Eimr-fm0

 :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:


Boston Area Crow Deaths

     Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.  A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

     The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

     MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause:  when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.  They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: muzza on November 19, 2013, 09:21:12 PM
 :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 08, 2013, 11:34:04 AM
Dog-powered Rube Goldberg Machine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg_machine)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/AA56LgpFbSw?rel=0 (http://www.youtube.com/embed/AA56LgpFbSw?rel=0)

The Ross Sisters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ross_Sisters)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/61cY1ILv60k?rel=0&autoplay=1 (http://www.youtube.com/embed/61cY1ILv60k?rel=0&autoplay=1)

 :) 8) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 19, 2014, 08:33:42 PM
High Tide / Low Tide

http://www.ba-bamail.com/Content.aspx?emailid=5732&memberid=747728 (http://www.ba-bamail.com/Content.aspx?emailid=5732&memberid=747728)

     "For 8 years, Michael Marten has been taking photos from different spots of the British coast line, documenting the daily rhythms of the tides. This gave way to a special landscape project. Marten took photos of the same locations 8 and 16 hours apart, and showed the contrast between those images, a work displaying the dynamic nature of the tides and how landscape can be drastically different on a daily basis."

:) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 27, 2014, 09:34:23 PM
From Mitsy_the_cat:

A Man Takes A Single Rake to The Beach
When You Zoom Out And See It’ll Blow Your Mind!

article (http://www.earthporm.com/man-takes-single-rake-beach-zoom-see-itll-blow-mind/)
youtube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KvqZf8heei8)

 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Sxpanthur on May 31, 2014, 01:03:41 PM
I liked the flight attendant and the grocery store smart ass answers, they seemed truly genuine.  :whistle:
Great links, I thoroughly enjoyed them.  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 08, 2014, 02:05:35 PM
Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 32.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month..

#3 - A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women.....
 
#1- You can get a silencer for a gun.

     Also see these videos:
Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" on beer bottles (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkbZlautuUc)

Just For Laughs Gags
X Ray TV Reveals Sexy Girl in Lingerie Prank (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd-mdt8y8q0&feature=em-subs_digest)

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 22, 2014, 01:07:26 AM
Benjamin Von Wong
from: Surreal Underwater Photo Shoot with Freedivers on a Shipwreck in Bali (http://twistedsifter.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-freedivers-on-shipwreck-von-wong/)

These are real women (trained divers), and NO Photoshop!

(http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-4.jpg)

(http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-5.jpg)

youTube video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1-bFVpdtvZY)

8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on June 22, 2014, 05:09:48 PM
That is simply stunning!

The web link locked up my browser, but the YouTube video is good.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on June 22, 2014, 05:16:29 PM
Incredible photographs, ethereal.  :o

Thanks a lot for the link, Noq.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 22, 2014, 06:46:12 PM
Everhard,

     Here are links to the pictures in numerical order:

   Picture 1 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-1.jpg)
   Picture 2 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-2.jpg)
   Picture 3 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-3.jpg)
   Picture 4 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-4.jpg)
   Picture 5 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-5.jpg)
   Picture 6 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-6.jpg)
   Picture 7 (http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/underwater-photoshoot-with-freedivers-and-a-shipwreck-in-bali-by-benjamin-von-wong-7.jpg)

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on June 23, 2014, 04:05:07 PM
Thanks noq. Incredible!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 25, 2014, 08:54:31 PM
Dad's new iPad
http://www.snotr.com/embed/8965

     A daughter is visiting her father and is helping in the kitchen.  She asks: "Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new iPad we gave you for your birthday?" This clip is spoken in German but it's totally understandable in any language.

^-^ :o ^-^
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 18, 2014, 04:43:46 PM
Here is a gymnast that can inspire anyone!

Kacy Catanzaro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfZFuw7a13E (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfZFuw7a13E)

 :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 21, 2014, 08:49:02 PM
Public Service Announcement
Das Auto
https://www.youtube.com/embed/JHixeIr_6BM?rel=0&autoplay=1&iv_load_policy=3 (https://www.youtube.com/embed/JHixeIr_6BM?rel=0&autoplay=1&iv_load_policy=3)

 :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: mannequindisplay on July 21, 2014, 08:59:17 PM
Great Ad as it's true as it now the #1 over drinking and driving in car related deaths.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 02, 2014, 03:01:35 PM
Back to work after 30 years
http://www.youtube.com/embed/qteu4ld_SCE?rel=0 (http://www.youtube.com/embed/qteu4ld_SCE?rel=0)

Statue 'selfie'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHF4BJg0v7Q&feature=em-subs_digest (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHF4BJg0v7Q&feature=em-subs_digest)

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: mannequindisplay on August 03, 2014, 06:24:48 PM
You have to be more then 30 years old to get the first video  :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 18, 2014, 09:31:25 PM
How true , something to think about.

Empty Pickle Jar (http://play.simpletruths.com/movie/the-empty-pickle-jar/store/)

 :angel: :angel: :angel:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 26, 2014, 08:45:01 PM
from: Behind the Scenes: Hasselblad Photokina Shoot 2014 (http://www.karltaylorphotography.com/blog/hasselblad-photokina-2014/)

(http://www.karltaylorphotography.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Hasselblad-Photokina-Shoot-5.jpg)

(http://www.karltaylorphotography.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Hasselblad-Photokina-Shoot-3.jpg)

For a lunchtime stroll in the park:

Just Walking My Pet Dinosaur (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7lwOxzZdyg)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on August 27, 2014, 04:51:40 AM
Theres always time for chocolate..... how true  :thumb:

How to manipulate light, amazing photos from the Hasselblad shoot, the video was fascinating.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on August 27, 2014, 09:58:07 AM
Very neat! I like the girl's outfit too  :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on August 27, 2014, 04:02:02 PM
The studio is similar to where I did my last doll shoot with Closer magazine. That was also in London.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on August 28, 2014, 09:31:31 PM
Gorgeous images, they remind me of those 80's futuristic fashion images I saw in magazines as a kid.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 10, 2014, 08:52:25 PM
This is Kseniya Simonova, and she’s the talent of Ukraine Got Talent.
http://www.littlethings.com/she-walked-out-on-stage-and-blew-everyone-away-i-never-expected-this-astonishing/ (http://www.littlethings.com/she-walked-out-on-stage-and-blew-everyone-away-i-never-expected-this-astonishing/)

 :thumb: ;) :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on September 13, 2014, 01:45:14 PM
An outstanding artist. That really is talent. And she is so beautiful too!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 16, 2014, 08:12:00 PM
Jen Bricker (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByFUzo9KwryWWkRwUEw4bmZNaVk/view?sle=true)

Beautiful, talented, driven.

 :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 22, 2014, 09:02:46 PM
50 of the Most Beautiful Women Actresses

     Great pictures that span a lifetime of movie viewing for many of us.  Great music too! The 50 most beautiful women of yesterday and today are shown in the below link. Check it out and enjoy. You will find it very interesting, especially to be amazed how this was done.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q5XetQeFu-0?rel=0 (http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q5XetQeFu-0?rel=0)

 :thumb: :-* :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on September 23, 2014, 03:08:46 AM
That was certainly worth two looks and probably more.
Very cleverly morphed, good find  noquiexis  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 04, 2014, 01:38:46 PM
from: Jim Butcher's forum (http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php)

My Vagina is 8 miles wide (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agfhgn1_yKE) (youTube video)


     My comment in reply: "GOLD!"

     Explanation: Years ago I read somewhere that a psychologist (I forget who) made the comment "Gold is the excrement of the gods". Therefore "GOLD!" = "Holy Shit!"  ;D


Signature of "Quantus" on that forum:

<(o)> <(o)>
       / \
     (o o)
  \==-==/

:D :D :D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 25, 2014, 02:08:36 AM
Just in time for Halloween

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/Rapunzel1/VictorSellsChair_zpsa1d944e3.jpg)
Scorpoin chair

(http://cdn.innovativelanguage.com/wordlists/media/thumb/17354_fit1024x.jpg)
Crab

Want drama?
https://www.youtube.com/v/316AzLYfAzw%26autoplay=1%26rel=0 (https://www.youtube.com/v/316AzLYfAzw%26autoplay=1%26rel=0)

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on October 25, 2014, 03:48:09 AM
Awesome.  :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 30, 2014, 08:41:36 PM
For all the teachers and school administrators:

Maroochydore High School in Queensland, Australia answering machine
https://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/17162438/171426805/name/School%20Answering%20Machine.mp4 (https://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/17162438/171426805/name/School%20Answering%20Machine.mp4)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 03, 2014, 03:57:34 PM
     "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."


     A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anaesthesia shot.
     "No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man exclaimed. So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said, "I can't do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!"
     The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill.
     "No," he says, "I'm fine with pills." So the dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them.
     "What are those?" he asked.
     "Viagra," she replied.
     "I'll be damned," said the patient, "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer."
     "It doesn't," said the dentist, "But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."


VW Factory - Germany
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd5WGLWNllA

The Ferrari factory in Maranello Italy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La73Oy9ZGVw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La73Oy9ZGVw)

     If you ever thought the treadmill was boring, think again! Some people seem to enjoy life more than others. This guy has got the market cornered!
http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/extwidget/openGraph/wid/0_u0r71mg5
 (http://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/extwidget/openGraph/wid/0_u0r71mg5)

 :P ;D :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on November 03, 2014, 04:41:29 PM
Noq's on a roll.  :laugh:

Those assembly plants are very impressive.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 14, 2014, 08:32:48 PM
From ABC News - Low-tech solution to high-tech credit card theft. No joke!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/tips-protect-credit-cards-hackers-26882427 (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/tips-protect-credit-cards-hackers-26882427)

     If you cannot see the video, the suggestion is to wrap your credit cards in aluminum foil. Cheap, but effective!



Catholic Hair Dryer

     In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.

     An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"
     "Of course child. What may I do for you?"
     "Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I"m afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
     "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
     "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
     When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked,
     "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
     "From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
     The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
     Winking mischievously, the Priest replied, "I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
     Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"

;D 8) ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on November 15, 2014, 05:27:39 AM
To be sure, to be sure.

very funny Noq  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 19, 2014, 12:22:33 AM
Ana Yang performing with bubbles.
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KMrvR836TFI?rel=0 (https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/KMrvR836TFI?rel=0)

Victorian Cosplay
http://kotaku.com/awesome-cosplay-takes-star-wars-superheroes-back-to-th-1659421934?utm_campaign=Socialflow_Kotaku_Facebook&utm_source=Kotaku_Facebook&utm_medium=Socialflow (http://kotaku.com/awesome-cosplay-takes-star-wars-superheroes-back-to-th-1659421934?utm_campaign=Socialflow_Kotaku_Facebook&utm_source=Kotaku_Facebook&utm_medium=Socialflow)

 ;D 8) ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on November 19, 2014, 03:37:27 AM
Ana Yangs bubble mix is a lot different to stuff I had as a kid and how did some actually climb upwards.... helium ? very clever.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 26, 2014, 09:10:01 PM
The Night of Thanksgiving

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED -
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.

TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR,
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.

I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY,
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP.
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS.
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!!

HAPPY  THANKSGIVING TO  ALL !

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: B-Zilla on November 27, 2014, 10:54:47 AM
Fantastic, Noq.  :laugh:

I wish you and everyone here at ODC a very Happy Thanksgiving. :D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 05, 2015, 06:47:34 PM
     This is for those of you of my generation who do not really comprehend why Facebook exists.

     Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day I go down to the street & tell the neighbors what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before & what I will do tomorrow night. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, my garden &, of course, a 'selfie' or two. I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.

And it works...............................

     I already have four people following me. Two police constables, a psychiatrist & a case worker from the Council.

;D :P ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 07, 2015, 08:39:07 PM
     This was not in my inbox, but on the news broadcast. This was apparently inspired, at least in part, by the Free the Nipple (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2298394/) movie (2014) by Lina Esco. From "Free the Nipple Walk" (http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/Free-the-Nipple-324735901.html):

"'Free the Nipple' equality movement comes to Kentucky
Posted: Sat 10:24 AM, Sep 05, 2015

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WKYT) -  Thanks to a high school student, a national equality movement will be coming to Kentucky this weekend.

The "Free the Nipple Walk" equality march will take place today in Louisville. The walk is part of a growing movement across the county that aims to raise awareness against female oppression and censorship.

According to WKLY in Louisville, Nan Elpers, 18, is the main reason the walk is happening. Elpers says she first learned about the movement through her gender studies class. After seeing how successful the walk was in other cities around the country, Elpers made it her goal to bring the event to Kentucky.

Elpers told WLKY that she originally invited a few friends on Facebook to see if they would be interested. It quickly gained attention and the following day, numerous people had been invited.

Now, over 500 people said they will be taking part in the walk. Unlike typical marches or walks, most participants in "Free the Nipple Walk" are expected to be topless.

Although hundreds of people are expected to be topless, Elders told WLKY that the walk is meant to bring awareness to equality for women.

The walk is free to the public and begins at 11 a.m. at Willow Park, near Eastern Parkway in Louisville.
"

:drool: :drool: :drool:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: ourdoll1 on September 09, 2015, 01:31:47 PM
I say expand the idea, a Nation Wide FREE THE BOOBIES march!! 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 29, 2015, 08:05:24 PM
The Final Exam

     There were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A'  so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Florida State until early Monday morning.

     Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it.  They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final.  The professor agreed they could makeup the final the next day.  The guys were excited and relieved.  They studied that night for the exam.

     The next day the professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points.  Cool, they thought!  Each one, in a separate room, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page

     On the second page was written...

For 95 points:  Which tire?

:P :P :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on September 29, 2015, 08:14:16 PM
 :whistle: :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: dolling on September 29, 2015, 08:47:43 PM
For 95 points:  Which tire?

My wive wud have sed that that was tiresum.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 12, 2015, 08:39:02 PM
Office prank

Do NOT open ...
(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/12019918_10153652414591112_633267545145891048_n.png?oh=b3aabd8109b314d6b8a4a5fe2b57a8d2&oe=56A9540F)

 ;D 8) ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: ourdoll1 on October 26, 2015, 08:13:48 PM
LOL, and leave a big hammer nearby
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 09, 2015, 05:40:17 PM
From a DAZ3D e-mail:

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/960x1248/17f82f742ffe127f42dca9de82fb58b1/0/0/00-main-fwf-little-devil-daz3d.jpg)
FWF Janna - Little Devil Expansion (http://www.daz3d.com/fwf-janna-little-devil-expansion)

She looks a bit like Angelina Jolie (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angelina_Jolie) in Maleficent (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maleficent_(film)).

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/55/Maleficent_poster.jpg/220px-Maleficent_poster.jpg)

 :P 8) :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 11, 2015, 08:26:37 PM
     This was not in my inbox, but on the news. A roads sign in Utah advises drivers to "Get your head out of your apps."

8) :police: 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 20, 2015, 01:35:26 PM
Adobe Revel going offline

from: Adobe Revel <noreply@adoberevelmail.com>
Friday, November 20, 2015 7:21 AM
"Dear {customer},   
     We're writing you with some important news about Adobe Revel. Revel will no longer be available after February 23, 2016.
"

from: https://www.adoberevel.com/transition-faq

     "I’m a Revel user. What does moving to the Creative Cloud Photography plan mean for me?
     If you’re using Revel for free, you now have access to all the benefits of Creative Cloud Photography plan with a free 30-day trial.
" (In other words, the Creative Cloud Photography plan will not be free.)



     I had several links here to my albums at Adobe Revel. If I remember in time, these links will be removed on or about February 23, 2016. Since these are mostly not doll pictures, they are not hosted here. Most, if not all of these pictures are also in my albums at the Canon iMage Gateway website.

     If you are interested, the links to my Adobe Revel albums are on these pages (until I remove them):

2013 Race for the Cure (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/index.php?topic=4938.0)

-- > page missing Race for the Cure 2014 (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/index.php?topic=6515.0) <-- page missing

Race for the Cure 2015 (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/index.php?topic=7427.0)

Adobe and Canon albums (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/index.php?topic=4750.0)

 :( :-X :(
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 06, 2015, 07:03:04 PM
Just in time for A Christmas Story (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/)!

"Major Award!"
from: Leg Lamp (http://www.daz3d.com/leg-lamp-iray)

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/0/0/00-main-leg-lamp-iray-daz3d.jpg)
Old Man Parker: "Hey! I just won a 'Major Award!' I know the perfect spot for it!"

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/0/1/01-leg-lamp-iray-daz3d.jpg)
Mother Parker: "You cannot be serious!"

(http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/off.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 22, 2015, 08:56:26 PM
Fröhliche Weihnachten!

     These two Christmas videos were sent to me from a German-born lady who was recently Naturalized. They show some of the best of both countries!

Sprechen sie deutsch?
http://www.edeka.de/gewinnspiele/edeka-kassensymphonie/kassensymphonie/index.jsp?ns_campaign=ks_yt

From one American to another
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHwa-Iq1Bx4

(http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/off.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 31, 2015, 08:58:38 PM
Writing boy doll
http://www.chonday.com/Videos/the-writer-automaton

 :) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 02, 2016, 09:04:50 PM
Greetings fellow Earthlings!
 
     Looking for a special getaway? Check out these exotic locations brought to you by the friendly folks at NASA! Also good for classroom activities!

(http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/images/solarsystem/20160210/posters20160210-16.jpg)
Exotic Cosmic Locales Available as Space Tourism Posters (http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=5052)

Download posters (http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/visions-of-the-future/)

For more adventures, see the
Steve Thomas Travel Agency (http://www.stevethomasart.com/#!space-travel-posters/ckbl)
(page takes a few seconds to load)

 8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 08, 2016, 10:18:33 PM
" ... to boldly go where no man has gone before."

from: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=6616

'Enterprise' Nebulae Seen by Spitzer

(http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/images/spitzer/20160908/PIA20917-16.jpg)
These nebulae seen by NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope, at left, may resemble two versions of the starship Enterprise from "Star Trek," overlaid at right. Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech

Just in time for the 50th anniversary of the TV series "Star Trek," which first aired September 8th,1966, a new infrared image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope may remind fans of the historic show.

Since ancient times, people have imagined familiar objects when gazing at the heavens. There are many examples of this phenomenon, known as pareidolia, including the constellations and the well-known nebulae named Ant, Stingray and Hourglass.

On the right of the image, with a little scrutiny, you may see hints of the saucer and hull of the original USS Enterprise, captained by James T. Kirk, as if it were emerging from a dark nebula. To the left, its "Next Generation" successor, Jean-Luc Picard's Enterprise-D, flies off in the opposite direction.

Astronomically speaking, the region pictured in the image falls within the disk of our Milky Way galaxy and displays two regions of star formation hidden behind a haze of dust when viewed in visible light. Spitzer's ability to peer deeper into dust clouds has revealed a myriad of stellar birthplaces like these, which are officially known only by their catalog numbers, IRAS 19340+2016 and IRAS19343+2026.

Trekkies, however, may prefer using the more familiar designations NCC-1701 and NCC-1701-D. Fifty years after its inception, Star Trek still inspires fans and astronomers alike to boldly explore where no one has gone before.

     Follow the link above to see the original article.

8) :) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: ShopHotDolls on September 10, 2016, 12:28:22 PM
This is great !!! OMG hahahhaa.... very clever
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Mahtek on September 10, 2016, 09:37:06 PM
From a DAZ3D e-mail:

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/960x1248/17f82f742ffe127f42dca9de82fb58b1/0/0/00-main-fwf-little-devil-daz3d.jpg)
FWF Janna - Little Devil Expansion (http://www.daz3d.com/fwf-janna-little-devil-expansion)
OK, I dig her. I dig her a lot.


Mahtek & his Ladies
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 12, 2016, 12:36:11 PM
Mahtek,

     I have become really attached to this image. I am using her in all of my latest renders.

from: Reby Sky (DAZ) (http://www.daz3d.com/reby-sky-bundle)

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/v/4/v4-elite-reby-sky-0.jpg)

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/v/4/v4-elite-reby-sky-3.jpg)

The real deal ...

(http://www.daz3d.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/v/4/v4-elite-reby-sky-8.jpg)

Reby Sky's Official website (http://rebysky.com/)
Reby Sky at Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reby_Sky)

 :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 28, 2016, 09:36:55 AM
Not from my inbox, but ...

     I have a tee shirt from the Toledo Zoo (http://www.toledozoo.org/) very much like the picture below. The quote is from a member of the Jim Butcher Online (http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/) forum.
 
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus.
(Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon.)

(http://img42.wallpapercasa.com/uploads/wallpapers/2012/02/28/343361/thumb_big_normal_5b3fda468067dddaefb3846a637025ac.jpg)
from: www.wallpapercasa.com (http://www.wallpapercasa.com/penguins_Courage_sleeping_cymbals_motivational_posters_polar_bears-343361.html)

 :P 8) :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Stephanie Doll on September 29, 2016, 06:27:18 PM
(http://img42.wallpapercasa.com/uploads/wallpapers/2012/02/28/343361/thumb_big_normal_5b3fda468067dddaefb3846a637025ac.jpg)


The person who Photoshopped this picture clearly doesn't that penguins and polar bears live on opposite sides of the planet.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on September 29, 2016, 06:35:38 PM
A Tom & Jerry moment.... hilarious  :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 05, 2016, 10:34:33 PM
Parking Revenge
from: 35 Drivers Who Exacted Their Parking Lot Revenge in the Most Hilarious Ways Possible (http://twentytwowords.com/parking-lot-revenge/)
By Abby Heugel

     The article link still works, but the picture links do not.  Maybe this will help lower the idiocy rate in America (but I doubt it).

8) ;) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on October 06, 2016, 04:02:29 AM
Parking Revenge
from: 35 Drivers Who Exacted Their Parking Lot Revenge in the Most Hilarious Ways Possible (http://twentytwowords.com/parking-lot-revenge/)
By Abby Heugel

(http://cdn.twentytwowords.com/wp-content/uploads/firehouse.jpg)

I assume you are not supposed to block fire hydrants but this a cracking solution  :laugh:
And the rest where great also, but this happens over here as well

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7e/70/b5/7e70b50aee41e3d058b0f28627113a56.jpg)

And this is perhaps a little excessive !

(http://wownowiknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/parking-pick-axe.jpg)

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Aikagi000 on October 20, 2016, 07:17:49 PM
ooooohoh ho ho ho ho sweet revenge. I love it.
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 09, 2016, 10:45:00 AM
     Not from my inbox, but...

     I have been a long-time supporter of the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI). The SETI group uses a distributed computer program to analyze received data from radio telescopes. That program was developed at the University of California at Berkeley. It is called "Berkeley Open Infrastructure for Network Computing" and uses the acronym "BOINC".

     It was not lost on me that "BOINC" is very similar to "boink", a colloquial term used to mean "have sex with ...". So, if you are interested in inter-galactic sex on the student exchange basis, go to http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/ to see if they have found anyone boinkable out there.

8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 15, 2016, 09:06:57 PM
from: The Toledo Zoo and Aquarium
http://www.toledozoo.org/SafarEmail/2016/12-14-16.html
 
Reindeer: Bucking Tradition

     Thanks to beloved stories and songs, we associate reindeer with the holidays. However, our knowledge of the amazing creature has also been influenced by pop culture. While we have enjoyed the story of Rudolph for the last 75+ years, reindeer have been domesticated for use as pack animals and for food, shelter and clothing for the last 3,000 years. Here is the true story of reindeer and some holiday myth-busting!

     Reindeer (Rangifer tarandus) live in herds as large as 500,000 in Canada, Alaska, Greenland, northern Europe and Asia. (Although technically when referring to the wild animals, they are called caribou...but we will get to that later.) A reindeer’s most impressive feature is their antlers. Reindeer are unique as both male and female reindeer grow antlers each year, with females being about 20 inches long while male antlers can be up to 51 inches long. These antlers are used as weapons, to attract mates and to clear snow and ice to find food.

     At their shoulder, reindeer stand between 33-59 inches tall and can weigh 121–470 pounds, depending on sex and time of year. Reindeer eat moss, herbs, ferns and grass, consuming between nine and 18 pounds of food per day. They vary in color depending on habitat and time of year and are covered in hair from their nose to the bottom of their feet. They have two layers of hair: an undercoat of fine, soft wool near the skin and a guard coat that is long and hollow to trap air serving as insulation and assist in buoyancy in water.

     Reindeer are specially adapted for cold weather. Their nose actually warms air as they breathe and condenses the water in the air to keep their mucus membranes moist as they travel into the wind picking up scents to locate food. Additionally, in the summer, footpads soften for traction on wet ground, while in the winter they tighten to reveal the rims of the hooves to aid in walking on and digging in snow and ice.

Now, the myth busting-
     Reindeer and caribou are the same animal- caribou refers to wild animals while reindeer is the domesticated term.
While reindeer cannot really fly- they are great jumpers and quite quick for such a large creature. Their top speed is 50 mph on land and 6.2 mph in the water.
If they did walk on your roof, you would hear click, click, click as they make a loud clicking noise when they walk due to a tendon slipping over their foot bone.
While they don’t travel the world in one night- they are known to migrate up to 1,000 miles for food and birthing.
Rudolph’s red nose wouldn’t really be necessary, as reindeer are the only mammals that can see ultra-violet light aiding in viewing plants in the glowing white tundra.

Merry Christmas!

(http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/off.png) (http://ourdollcommunity.com/forum/Themes/x-mas_20rc3/images/on.png)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on February 14, 2017, 08:53:25 PM
Valentine's Day 2017

from: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=6745

Spitzer Hears Stellar 'Heartbeat' from Planetary Companion

(http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/images/spitzer/20170214/SpitzerValentinesDay2017-16.jpg)

A planet and a star are having a tumultuous romance that can be detected from 370 light-years away.

NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope has detected unusual pulsations in the outer shell of a star called HAT-P-2. Scientists' best guess is that a closely orbiting planet, called HAT-P-2b, causes these vibrations each time it gets close to the star in its orbit.

"Just in time for Valentine's Day, we have discovered the first example of a planet that seems to be causing a heartbeat-like behavior in its host star," said Julien de Wit, postdoctoral associate at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Cambridge. A study describing the findings was published today in Astrophysical Journal Letters.

(http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/favorite.png) :-* (http://www.ourdollcommunity.com/forum/chat/img/emoticons/favorite.png)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on February 17, 2017, 04:42:04 PM
Reindeer: Reminds me of the FAA inspector who climbs aboard Santa's sleigh for his annual pilot license check -- carrying a shotgun. Noticing Santa's look of alarm he winks and says, "I'm not supposed to tell ya this in advance, but you're gonna lose an engine on take off."
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 10, 2017, 10:02:18 AM
     Karl Taylor created one of Arthur Mole’s living photographs with the help of 650 school kids.

from: https://www.karltaylorphotography.com/blog/just-been-on-tv-with-the-bbc-ep016/
youTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF70qDHMm7o&feature=youtu.be

 :) :) :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 21, 2017, 11:23:25 PM
Eclipse Across America - August 21, 2017
https://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/SEgoogle/SEgoogle2001/SE2017Aug21Tgoogle.html

(https://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/SEplot/SEplot2001/SE2017Aug21T.GIF) (https://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/SEplot/SEplot2001/SE2017Aug21T.GIF)

 8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on June 22, 2017, 03:32:58 AM
Just read about that on the BBC news coincidentally, sadly in the wrong part of the world to see it
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on June 22, 2017, 05:51:46 PM
Looks like the best spot is Mahtek's old house  ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on September 26, 2017, 08:26:20 PM
     You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!

     A man suffered a heart attack while shopping in a store. The store manager called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

     He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

     "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
     He replied in a weak raspy voice, "No health insurance."
     The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
     He replied, "No money in the bank."
     Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
     He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
     The nun became agitated and announced, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
     The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

:whistle: ::) :whistle:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on September 26, 2017, 08:46:01 PM
 :P
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: ourdoll1 on September 28, 2017, 09:10:26 AM
IS that like the Jewish way to togive money? - Throw it up in the air. Whatever God wants, he keeps!
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 30, 2017, 08:37:10 PM
(https://img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAuehpT.img)

NASA Releases Creepy Radio Recordings From Space (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/nasa-releases-creepy-radio-recordings-from-space/ar-AAue7X6?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp&pfr=1)

NASA has released a set of creepy recordings of sounds from space just in time for Halloween.

 O0 :-X O0
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: $uicide$ynth on November 04, 2017, 09:26:05 PM
oh my god these got me laughing my ass off! thanks for the humor :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 21, 2017, 11:30:51 AM
Solar System's First Interstellar Visitor Dazzles Scientists (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=7006)

     Astronomers recently scrambled to observe an intriguing asteroid that zipped through the solar system on a steep trajectory from interstellar space-the first confirmed object from another star.

     Now, new data reveal the interstellar interloper to be a rocky, cigar-shaped object with a somewhat reddish hue. The asteroid, named 'Oumuamua by its discoverers, is up to one-quarter mile (400 meters) long and highly-elongated-perhaps 10 times as long as it is wide. That aspect ratio is greater than that of any asteroid or comet observed in our solar system to date. While its elongated shape is quite surprising, and unlike asteroids seen in our solar system, it may provide new clues into how other solar systems formed.

     In addition to the technical name, the Pan-STARRS team dubbed it 'Oumuamua (pronounced oh MOO-uh MOO-uh), which is Hawaiian for "a messenger from afar arriving first."


     My unfamiliarity with the Hawaiian language caused me to think of the object's name as Ooh Mow Mow, so I looked up this song: Papa Oom Mow Mow (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQrQjNNZCAo) by The Rivingtons (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rivingtons).

O0 O0 O0
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Everhard on November 21, 2017, 03:55:43 PM
The asteroid, named 'Oumuamua by its discoverers, is up to one-quarter mile (400 meters) long and highly-elongated-perhaps 10 times as long as it is wide. That aspect ratio is greater than that of any asteroid or comet observed in our solar system to date.

Rendezvous with Rama (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rendezvous_with_Rama)  by Arthur C. Clarke, 1973 (Wikipedia entry)

 :o

I am waiting to hear of two more following the first...
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on November 21, 2017, 04:39:32 PM
Cool Noq :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on December 02, 2017, 03:50:05 PM
For Camp :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sospi4KvVrg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sospi4KvVrg)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Camp on December 02, 2017, 04:51:54 PM
For Camp :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sospi4KvVrg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sospi4KvVrg)

 :o  ;D  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Smoke on December 02, 2017, 06:52:55 PM
That's hilarious Ceej!  ;D 8) :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on December 02, 2017, 07:53:54 PM
Gesundheit  :whistle:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ray Rentell on December 03, 2017, 04:24:34 AM



:laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on December 03, 2017, 07:32:37 AM
Thanks guys...I have to give credit to my dear wife Cat, she found it and sent it to me  :)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on December 12, 2017, 06:23:29 PM
Two pics Cat found for Christmas:

(http://ourdollcommunity.com/gallery/albums/userpics/24909927_10210151942289188_6723161920038523326_n.jpg)


(http://ourdollcommunity.com/gallery/albums/userpics/Dress-Christmas-Trees-700x364.jpg)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on December 18, 2017, 08:33:23 AM
Three Knots

     An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks,
     "How am I doing??"
     The prostitute replies, "Well, old sailor, you're doing about three knots."
     "Three knots?" he asks. "What's that supposed to mean??"
     She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."

:laugh: ;D :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on February 23, 2018, 04:08:52 PM
fun bikes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L5pfah_CyA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L5pfah_CyA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=when3v7NVFk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=when3v7NVFk)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Feguro on February 24, 2018, 08:55:52 AM
That's so funny   ??? ::) :laugh: ;D


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L5pfah_CyA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L5pfah_CyA)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on February 24, 2018, 10:58:57 AM
Thanks.....My dear wife Cat, gets the credit, she found that video :)  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on March 07, 2018, 09:01:16 PM
Celebrate Pi Day
from: https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=7074

     This year's NASA Pi Day Challenge, to be released on March 9, features the agency's InSight Mars lander, Kepler space telescope and Juno spacecraft at Jupiter - plus a visit from an interstellar object.

     March 14 is Pi Day, a celebration of the beloved number known as pi. JPL is celebrating Pi Day with the fifth annual "Pi in the Sky" illustrated math challenge (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/edu/events/2018/3/9/celebrate-pi-day-with-nasa/), featuring pi-related space problems that you can do at home.

     Pi is often abbreviated as 3.14 (which is why Pi Day is celebrated on March 14, or 3/14), but there are actually an infinite number of digits in pi. Using computer programs, mathematicians have calculated trillions of those digits so far.

     Pi can be used to derive characteristics of a circle or a sphere, such as circumference or surface area. Scientists and engineers at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, California, frequently use pi to learn about moons, planets, stars and other spherical bodies, and to track the orbits of satellites and spacecraft.

     The "Pi in the Sky" challenge, created by JPL's Education Office, features math problems that illustrate how pi can be used to learn about all kinds of curious features of the universe, including earthquakes on Mars, helium rain on Jupiter, and planets orbiting other stars.

     "All of the problems in the 'Pi in the Sky' challenge are real problems that JPL scientists and engineers solve using pi," said Ota Lutz, a senior education specialist at JPL who helped create the Pi Day Challenge.

     In previous years, Pi in the Sky featured problems about how NASA space probes gather information about objects in our solar system, how scientists search for planets around other stars, and how astronomers predict the occurrence of solar eclipses. The new problems will be posted online (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/edu/nasapidaychallenge/) on March 9, and solutions will be posted on March 15. You can find the previous years' challenge problems online as well.

     The challenge is geared toward students in grades 5 through 12, and JPL offers additional resources for teachers and educators (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/edu/teach/tag/search/pi) who want to use the problems in the classroom. But Lutz said adults love trying out the problems as well, and everyone should attempt the challenge even if they aren't familiar with space exploration.

     "The Pi in the Sky problems give people a little glimpse into what goes on at JPL," Lutz said. "And that's empowering, because it shows people that they can understand some of the magic that goes into space exploration."

     Pi belongs to a special class of numbers known as "irrational numbers." These numbers contain an infinite number of digits that do not repeat or show any pattern, and they cannot be represented as a ratio of two integers. (Integers include all whole numbers, as well as their negative counterparts, such as -1, -2, -3, etc.) Pi enthusiasts regularly use Pi Day as an opportunity to test their memorization skills, because the random nature of the digits makes them difficult to remember. Members of the public are encouraged to share photos and stories from their Pi Day celebration activities through the Education website (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/edu/share/pi-day-whats-going-round).

8) ;) 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on May 25, 2018, 08:15:17 AM
     In the United States of America, many think of the Memorial Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_Day) weekend as he unofficial start of summer. If you are looking for some ideas for summer vacation, NASA (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA) may have a few suggestions.

Exoplanet posters
from: https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/alien-worlds/exoplanet-travel-bureau/

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/152_posternormalsize.jpg)

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/153_Kepler_16b_preview.jpg)

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/154_Kepler_186f_preview.jpg)

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/156_2085_53_PSOJ318.5-22_screen.jpg)

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/157_2083_51_HD_40307g_preview.jpg)

(https://exoplanets.nasa.gov/system/feature_items/images/158_2084_52_Final_Peg_51_Poster_web.jpg)

 8) ;D 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: Ceej on May 25, 2018, 02:48:33 PM
If nothing else, I love the way cool sci-fi art, especially the first pic  :thumb:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on June 07, 2018, 01:42:07 PM
An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!

     Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

     No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

     Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

     His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

     Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

     Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

     Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

     He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

     Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

:( :-X :(
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: NakedSanta on July 06, 2018, 12:12:12 PM
Brain Study....

     Wow! It took me a few seconds, but then I got the hang of it. I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind. If English is not your primary language, it may be harder to read.

F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng?

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.

 8) ;D 8)

I love these. I've always been able to easily read these. I think it has something to do with my mind being as deviously nasty as it is heh heh heh  :evil:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on July 23, 2018, 05:10:42 PM
     Twitter sends e-mail notification for those who you follow. Actor Lee Arenberg (https://twitter.com/leearenberg) retweeted this cute picture from Shane Black:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DirqupsV4AILiR4.jpg)
"When Your Pants Suspect Something..."

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 06, 2018, 09:15:54 AM
Greetings fellow Earthers!

     Chandra Observatory (https://twitter.com/chandraxray) posted a picture of the Cheshire Cat galaxies:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DjxVFjiX0AAbpXM.jpg)
from: Where Alice in Wonderland Meets Albert Einstein
http://chandra.si.edu/photo/2015/cheshirecat/

"Curiouser and curiouser!"

     I found this through actor Lee Arenberg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Arenberg) on Twitter (https://twitter.com/leearenberg) via Jonathan W Arenberg (https://twitter.com/JonArenberg) and http://chandra.si.edu/

;D 8) ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 09, 2018, 10:56:07 AM
From the Toledo Zoo & Aquarium (https://mailchi.mp/toledozoo/an-earth-friendly-editorial-wishes-warnings)

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

     As the song, "Spinning Wheel," says, what goes up must come down. This is especially true with balloons and Chinese paper lanterns. As we celebrate the end of summer and the start of a new school year, please heed these warnings to help our planet.


     Chinese lanterns are basically a tiny, un-manned hot air balloon with a candle or fuel cell with wax suspended in wire or bamboo and covered with a thin paper frame. The flame produces enough heat for the lantern to rise. They are considered good luck and symbolic of problems and worries floating away and bringing a bright future. Unfortunately, they go up as good wishes and positive memories, but come back down as potentially deadly litter. The truth is that everything released into the air eventually falls back to earth in some form, intact or tiny pieces.

     According to the US Fish and Wildlife Service, it is a myth that latex balloons will rise to a five mile height and burst into miniscule pieces that simply disappear into the atmosphere. Pieces of balloons often land in waterways and resemble jelly fish or other aquatic food sources. The pieces can easily get lodged in the digestive tract of an animal and inhibit eating or breathing, leading to a slow death from starvation. Additionally, ribbons from balloons can get wrapped around beaks, necks, legs, feet, wings and have even strangled birds from power lines.

     Despite the packages saying the inexpensive yet entertaining items are eco-friendly and biodegradable, the truth is that parts of the items can take years to disintegrate. One lantern manufacturer claims that the paper portion of their lantern biodegrades in only six to eight weeks. However, it is still a hazard to wildlife during that time. Additionally, the approximately eight inches of metal wire the lantern contains, while less than 1% of the lanterns mass, can take anywhere from nine months to several years to degrade. It still poses quite a risk to wildlife during that in-between time, including injury from swallowing or bedding down.

     In addition to those concerns, the flame portion of lanterns are their own cause for concern. Upon release, lanterns can drift for several miles and rise up to 3,000 feet in the air. The lanterns often get tangled in trees or land on roofs, causing fires. Thankfully, after considering all factors, more than 30 states, numerous town and countries around the world have banned lantern releases.

     Instead of releasing balloons or lanterns, your Zoo suggests blowing bubbles, lining a pathway with temporary luminaries or planting a tree or field of wild flowers. Rather than endangering wildlife, let’s help protect and beautify our natural world!


;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 17, 2018, 04:00:47 PM
     As a fan of the ABC drama Once Upon A Time (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time_(TV_series)), I still follow some of the actresses and actors to see what new things they are doing. Some of them work with Stands (https://www.shopstands.com/) clothier to run fundraisers.

     I just bought a tee shirt (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DklQlopU0AcCuhU.jpg) for Feodora through Jared Gilmore's "Truest Believer" Campaign (https://www.shopstands.com/products/jared-gilmores-truest-believer-campaign?variant=12414866423856). There was a humorous exchange between myself and Stands Support.

Stands wrote:

     Words cannot begin to express the endless depths of gratitude we feel toward you for your support. To convey my feelings, I was gonna send you a pony— or maybe even a pegasus (which is, let's face it, just a magical pony with wings) to thank you for being the wind beneath our wings. But it's way too expensive to ship a pegasus at today's postal rates and I'm super grossed out by glitter, which as you know every pegasus is infested with... So I'm sending you this thank you note instead.

My reply:

     “it's way too expensive to ship a pegasus at today's postal rates” …

Ah, they can fly, ya know! (wink)


Their rebuttal,

     Yeah, but that means you'd be getting a pegasus with mileage already on the odometer!

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on August 23, 2018, 09:32:29 PM
Send your doll into space!
from: https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?feature=7220

'NASA Selfies' and TRAPPIST-1 VR Apps Now Available

The universe is at your fingertips with two new digital products from NASA.

The NASA Selfies app and NASA's Exoplanet Excursions virtual reality app were created to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the launch of NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope. Spitzer's incredible discoveries and amazing images are at the center of these new products.

NASA Selfies app
The app is available for iOS and Android (https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/apps/#nasaselfies).

The new NASA Selfies app lets you generate snapshots of yourself in a virtual spacesuit, posing in front of gorgeous cosmic locations, like the Orion Nebula or the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The simple interface means you just snap a photo of yourself, pick your background, and share on social media.

The app also provides information about the science behind these stunning images. There are currently 30 eye-catching images to choose from, all taken by Spitzer. More images from the agency's other science and human spaceflight missions will be added in the future.

NASA's Exoplanet Excursions VR app

In NASA's Exoplanet Excursions virtual reality app, VR users are taken on a guided tour of the TRAPPIST-1 planetary system.

TRAPPIST-1 is the only known exoplanet system to host seven roughly Earth-size planets. Spitzer played a major role in detecting these planets and providing information that has helped scientists learn about the planets' likely compositions. The TRAPPIST-1 system is too far away for telescopes to directly observe these planets, but this VR experience features artists' impressions of what the planets might look like. These impressions are based on data from Spitzer and other telescopes that have studied the TRAPPIST-1 system.

Users of the app are navigated around five of the seven planets, surrounded by the blackness of space and the faint lights of distant stars.

The VR app will be available for Oculus and Vive through the Spitzer mission website (http://www.spitzer.caltech.edu/vr) and will soon be available through the Oculus store. A 360-degree video is also be available on the Spitzer Youtube page (https://youtu.be/cL1WbM2FSyQ) that allows viewers to explore the virtual TRAPPIST-1 system on their desktop, smartphone or with a smartphone-based 360-viewer like Google Cardboard.

8) O0 8)
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on October 27, 2018, 04:04:30 PM
     From Rebecca Mader's (https://www.instagram.com/bexmader/) Instagram story:

"The man who invented autocorrect has died. May he roast in piss."

:laugh: ;D :laugh:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 04, 2018, 04:54:28 PM
Only The Irish Tell Jokes Like These!

     Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
     "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
     "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
     "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, “he couldn't do that to you.  He must have had something in his hand.”
     "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
     "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself.  “Didn't you have something in your hand?"
     "That I did," said Paddy.  "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
*****************************************
     An Irishman who had a little too much to drink, driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
     "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
     "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
     "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
     "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
     "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
     "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.  "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
*****************************************************
     Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
     "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.  "I've somethin' to tell ya."
     "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.But where's my husband?"
     "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda.  There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
     "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda.  "Please don't tell me."
     "I must, Brenda.  Your husband Shamus is dead and gone.  I'm sorry.”
     Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”
     "It was terrible, Brenda.  He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
     "Oh my dear Jesus!  But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
     "Well, Brenda... no.  In fact, he got out three times to pee."
************************************
     Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
     He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary, my dear?
     She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.My husband passed away last night."
     The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.  Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
     She says, "That he did, Father."
     The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
     She says, “He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!' ”
***********************************
AND THE BEST FOR LAST
     A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church and enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there ain’t no paper on this side either!"

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: noquiexis on November 21, 2018, 08:18:47 PM
Best Lawyer Story of the Year

This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.

     A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, Fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'

     The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

     The lawyer sued and WON!

      Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

     Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

                                                    NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

     After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!  With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

     This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

:police: :police: :police:
Title: Re: From the Inbox
Post by: incred on November 21, 2018, 09:38:11 PM
Best Lawyer Story of the Year

This actually took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.

     A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, Fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'

     The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

     The lawyer sued and WON!

      Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

     Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

                                                    NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

     After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!  With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

     This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

:police: :police: :police:

Lawyers  :facepalm:

Sometimes there is real justice  :thumb: